Steps

1. In the moment: remove breakable or valuable items from reach if possible
2. Offer a safe alternative: 'You can rip THIS paper, but not your schoolwork'
3. After calm: involve them in 'repair together'. Fixing what was broken builds responsibility
4. Identify the trigger pattern: is it always after school? During homework? When told no?
5. Create sensory alternatives for the same release: tearing newspaper, smashing playdough

What you need

Sacrificial sensory items (old paper, playdough), repair supplies

Why it works

Destruction is almost always about releasing overwhelming emotion that has no other outlet. ADHD and autistic children experience frustration more intensely and have fewer ways to discharge it safely. Providing sanctioned outlets for that energy means the need gets met without the damage.

Age guidance

Common between ages 4-10, though it can persist into the teens. The replacement outlets may need to evolve as the child grows.

Real-world example

A parent kept a stack of old newspapers by the sofa. When their child felt the urge to rip or throw, they could shred the newspapers instead. It met the same sensory need and nobody's homework got destroyed. Simple, but effective.

Troubleshooting

• Destruction is usually about releasing overwhelming emotion, not being 'naughty'
• Keep sentimental or expensive items out of reach during high-risk times
• If they destroy their own work, it's often perfectionism. Address the anxiety behind it