Steps

1. Arrange structured, activity-based playdates (Lego, baking, a specific game)
2. Keep playdates short (1-2 hours max) so they end on a positive note
3. Coach friendship skills before the playdate: greeting, sharing, taking turns
4. Help them identify children with similar interests (shared interests = easier friendships)
5. After the playdate, debrief: 'What went well? What was tricky?'

What you need

Structured activity for playdates, coaching time, willing families

Why it works

Neurodivergent children often struggle with the unstructured, improvised nature of typical friendships. Structured, interest-based activities remove the social guesswork and let the connection happen around a shared focus. Short playdates that end on a positive note build positive associations.

Age guidance

Start from age 4-5 with short, structured playdates. As children grow, help them find interest-based groups where friendships form more naturally.

Real-world example

A parent arranged a playdate centred on Lego with one child who shared the same interest. The two children built side by side for an hour, barely talking. The parent worried it wasn't social enough, but their child asked to invite the friend back. That parallel play was the foundation of a genuine friendship.

Troubleshooting

• Quality over quantity: one good friend matters more than many acquaintances
• If school friendships aren't working, try out-of-school clubs based on their interests
• Parallel play (doing the same activity side by side) is valid socialising