Steps

1. Learn to recognise RSD in the moment: sudden emotional flooding, shame spiral, urge to withdraw or lash out
2. Name it: 'This is RSD. My brain is amplifying this signal. The feeling is real but the interpretation may not be'
3. Create a 20-minute pause rule: don't respond to the perceived rejection for at least 20 minutes
4. Write down what happened factually (not your interpretation). Then write what your RSD is telling you. Compare them
5. Build a 'evidence folder' — screenshots, messages, and notes that remind you of times people valued you

What you need

A journal or notes app, willingness to pause before reacting

Why it works

RSD is a neurological response, not a choice. The emotional pain is real — but the interpretation (they hate me, I'm a failure, I should give up) is often distorted. Creating space between the feeling and the reaction allows your thinking brain to come back online.

Age guidance

Adults and older teens.

Real-world example

An adult with ADHD nearly quit their job after a colleague's offhand comment in a meeting. Using the 20-minute rule, they realised the comment wasn't even directed at them. They started keeping an 'evidence folder' of positive feedback and checked it during RSD spirals.

Troubleshooting

• RSD isn't something you 'fix' — you learn to ride the wave. Be patient with yourself
• If RSD is severely impacting your relationships or work, speak to a professional who understands ADHD
• Some people find medication helps reduce RSD intensity — this is worth discussing with your doctor