Repair Scripts After RSD Outbursts

For when after an RSD spike you said or sent something you regret, and now shame is stopping you from repairing it

Steps

  1. Wait until your nervous system is actually settled. Repair from regulation, not from panic. 1-2 hours minimum
  2. Name what happened to yourself first: 'My RSD spiked. I reacted from threat, not from truth'. This separates the brain from the behaviour
  3. Use a 3-part repair: own the impact, name the pattern, offer the next step. No long justifications
  4. Try a template: 'I reacted hard earlier and I think I hurt you. That was my stuff, not yours. Can we talk later when you've got space?'
  5. Let them respond on their timeline. Repair doesn't entitle you to instant forgiveness

What you need

A 1-2 hour cooldown, a quiet space to draft the message before sending

Why it works

RSD reactions feel like truth in the moment but read as disproportionate from the outside. A clean repair separates the neurological reaction from the relationship, so trust can rebuild without you carrying weeks of shame.

Age guidance

Adults and older teens.

Real-world example

An ADHD adult fired off a furious 4am message after a perceived snub. The next morning they used the 3-part script. Their friend replied 'thank you for naming it, I was confused'. The friendship was fine within a day.

Troubleshooting

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